Today’s update: 1) Zero suicidal thoughts. 2) One emotional breakdown, but after receiving distressing news from someone I love very dearly. I am always there for you; you know who you are. 3) The emptiness still exists, but at least now I have some answers as to why I’ve been made to feel empty. I know that sounds like someone else is in complete control, and I don’t mean it that way, but knowing why this is happening right now is a major step to understanding and addressing the current triggers in my life. 4) I am shocked at how many of my acquaintances from high school have reached out to me. People that I never knew gave a damn at all have come out of the woodwork to tell me that they care. I honestly don’t know why they do, because I feel like no one ever told me that during high school. However, I sincerely appreciate it and I would love to spend time with any of you if you’re ever around the DC/Baltimore/Annapolis area. And heck, if you’re not but you want to be, I may have lodging covered for you. 5) My family finally took notice today (my parents don’t have facebook and my brother’s family gets on rarely.) I got calls from my brother and my father, but I couldn’t vocalize most of what I’ve been feeling. For some reason, it’s easier to write it here as a public education announcement than for the words to come out of my mouth. 6) It has sunk in that I truly want to go get help for myself and not because someone else wants me to. I also want to say the hell with it all and go back to drugs and drinking, but I know that’s not going to happen because I need to stay sober to achieve my goals. 7) Mindless crap: http://img.wrongcards.com/card/stephen-hawking.png