Tonight’s Update: Today has been interesting. If you’ve been paying attention to my updates, you know that I spent the night at Shock Trauma observing their patient care operations. The way that it had an impact on my depression is that I was awake all night instead of sticking to my regular sleep schedule. This is the first time I’ve pulled an all-nighter while taking sedative antidepressants. Of course, I didn’t take that pill last night since I needed to stay awake, but I took it when I got home this morning and slept throughout most of the day. Now I’m about to take a 1/2 pill to sleep through the night before getting up extremely early in order to see Beth compete in the Nation’s Triathlon tomorrow. How will the changes in sleep cycles have an impact on me? I have no idea. On an unrelated note, I went to an aftercare meeting this morning after I left the hospital. It was my first time going to this meeting and I have only ever seen this group leader speak on one other occasion. He is a very nice guy, very stable in his recovery, and a good presenter in terms of keeping your attention. Unfortunately, I think he gets stuck on thinking that everyone still going through the early stages of the program is on the same level, and he believes that level is one of very little progress. I’m not saying that I’m exactly where I need to be, but I am pretty confident that I am not hiding anything from the others in group, I’m there for the right reasons, and I’m not lying to anyone about it. His speech today assumed that everyone that is early in their recovery is still trying to put on a front to others, and I found that a little bit offensive. Luckily, I was too tired to reflect on this or allow it to stick in my mind for long. There was one great thing that he said that has stuck in my head all day. Even though I don’t really like it when people say, “have a blessed day,” he ended the meeting with the following statement. “You all have a blessed week. DON’T let anyone mess it up! You all have a blessed week. DON’T let anyone mess it up! You all have a blessed week. DON’T let anyone mess it up; not even you!” Speaking of incredibly tired, I’m going to go ahead and wrap it up for the evening because nothing else has happened. Tonight is a great night for someone else to share their story. If you have messaged me or have thought about writing to let me know you are feeling some of the same feelings I have been recently, please feel free to share about your day in the comments. People always tell me that I have so much courage or how brave I am to be this open and public about what I’m going through, but I honestly do not see it that way. I just see this as holding myself accountable. Maybe someone else is ready to do the same.